This is a picture
hovering in my brain,
a glossy magazine photo
of who I wish to be,
so perfect, effortless, noble,
who never falters, only shines.

There is a reality
beyond any of this,
a truth that shines
amidst the turmoil
inside this soul.

There is a light
within each of us,
a beauty we cannot comprehend,
a destiny so great,
nobility quietly waiting
to be expressed.

God loves each of us,
just as we are.

He has opened the door
for us to discover
our true nature,
but we walk past
and choose another path.

If only we could
dig beneath these layers
of misconception
and see the brilliant light
within ourselves, within each other,

how quickly this world
would be transformed
into paradise.

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For me, however, the best times were when there were few people there. One night I was able to go in myself and sit in the very center under the dome.  I chanted some prayers and they were reverberating from every direction, since the House of Worship is a dome.  It was an amazing experience.

I was also there for the Ascension of Bahá’u'lláh, which is the anniversary of the passing of the Founder of the Bahá’i Faith.  It was held at 3am, which is the hour of His passing.  All of the Bahá’ís attending were there praying and hanging out beforehand.  When it was time to officially say the prayer of visitation, right before the prayer, a group of Bahá’ís sang from every side of the temple.  It was magnificent.

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Most of the time, however, I am not quite so attracted to the eternal.  My mind is often filled with ruminations about insignificant things that are bothering or worrying me.  I can be self absorbed and self centered in the way I look at things. I find myself being judgmental over things that don’t really matter.  I observe my mind filled with petty desires.  The list goes on and on…

Sometimes when I become aware of just how wrapped up I am in these insignificant things, I remind myself of this verse:

O SON OF THE SUPREME!
To the eternal I call thee, yet thou dost seek that which perisheth. What hath made thee turn away from Our desire and seek thine own?

This is one of my favorite passages, and I think it’s helpful for me to stop and ask that question: why is it that I’m preferring to be caught up in petty things instead of keeping my mind calm and centered, focused on the more eternal aspects of life?

Of course, we have to live with life’s everyday details. We have to think about what time it is, if bills have been paid, what we want for lunch, and things like that. I don’t believe this verse implies that we should ignore the world around us, or that we all have to be like monks all the time. However, I feel that for me personally, I could definitely improve the quality of what goes on in my mind and heart. It is possible to go through life’s everyday tasks and still have an attitude of appreciation and reverence.

Beyond the quality of thoughts and mindfulness throughout the day, there’s also importance to how I prioritize things. For example, would I prefer to sit and watch TV shows on the Internet for another hour, or would I prefer to set aside some time to read and meditate? Am I willing to make the time and put in the effort required to live a truly spiritual life, or would I rather just be lazy and pay lip service? Do I dedicate my life to serving humanity, or should I just focus on my own pleasure and happiness? There are many small decisions I make each day, and there are also the bigger decisions about where I am going in my life. It’s a challenge to find the right balance and always be focused on the spiritual, but I find satisfaction in the effort I make.

Here are a couple of other passages on the topic that I like:

O FRIENDS!
Abandon not the everlasting beauty for a beauty that must die, and set not your affections on this mortal world of dust.

~ Baha’u'llah, The Hidden Words

O MY SERVANT!
Free thyself from the fetters of this world, and loose thy soul from the prison of self. Seize thy chance, for it will come to thee no more.

~Baha’u'llah, The Hidden Words

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we burn relentlessly,
some brilliant searing lights,
others but dull embers.

We have a choice:

to endlessly chase
flickering flames of illusion
and live that we may die,

or we may lose ourselves
in the fire of the love of God
and die that we may live.

In either path
we face a life of pain.

On one path
this pain is a horrible curse,
on the other
it is the sweetest gift.

I pray that God
will give me eyes to see
the end in the beginning

that I may choose the right path
and not suffer in vain.

By the fire of the Love of God the veil is burnt which separates us from the Heavenly Realities, and with clear vision we are enabled to struggle onward and upward, ever progressing in the paths of virtue and holiness, and becoming the means of light to the world.

~Abdu’l-Baha, Paris Talks, p. 81

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Interestingly enough, the point is not to be the number one horse who is so perfect.  The idea is just to be aware of which horse you are and observe what’s going on.  That’s good news for me, because I’m often closer to the fourth horse than the first one (at least when it comes to meditation and a couple other things).  I’m often pretty upset about that fact, but in the end we learn most from our struggles, even when it’s a struggle to do something basic in a spiritual practice.

I went to a 10 day meditation session years ago.  After I returned I could sit for an hour at a time, sometimes doing two hours a day.  Now I’m happy to be doing my 10 minutes a day.  Life has kinda pushed me just to do even that, but I am making progress with it and feel good about it.

I’ve either been running or doing yoga every morning lately.  Combined with prayer, reading and meditation it makes for a much greater amount of inner peace.  Of course, I still have a lifetime of work to go, but I’m feeling pretty good about things at the moment.

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I’ve been through this a number of times, where I’ve realized how much I need to clear my head and set this goal to meditate for 10 minutes, even 5 minutes a day.  I haven’t been so good about sticking with it, but this time I’m writing on my blog and narrowing my focus a bit.  Often I’m trying to work on multiple things (ie. reading more, getting up early to exercise, etc.).  I’ve found that I usually don’t follow through with habit-changing things if I try to do 3 or more, so I’m focusing on doing just this one.

So why meditate?  Is it really a valuable use of time?  Isn’t it kinda pointless just to sit there and observe your breathing?  Sometimes it can feel like that.  However, there are a lot of interesting things that happen when practicing meditation.  First of all, it’s a practice for disciplining the mind.  Often my head is full of random, scattered thoughts that have nothing to do with anything.  Practicing mindfulness helps me be more in the present moment, rather than spiraling into some imaginary situation or tangent thought.

When I stop my thinking, come back to my breath and just be aware of the present moment, it’s like waking up from a dream.  It’s so easy to get lost in a world of thoughts that have nothing to do with reality.  I’m always getting caught up in ideas about what I want to do, how I would like to be better at something, how I could have done something better, how I’m frustrated with a situation or person, the list goes on for a mile.  All of these thoughts are just layers of distraction that keep me from experiencing life as it really is.

When I can clear my head and look up at the sky, I see that life is beautiful, that the world is actually a wonderful place.  The worries, frustrations, and most other problems I experience have much more to do with my own reactions to than with life itself.  Of course there are always challenging people and situations, but these don’t have to be quite so miserable as I often make them.  By ruminating on things that bother me, rather than accepting them for what they are, I can add lots of needless suffering to my life.  Meditation helps me develop the ability to create less of this suffering, and to be more free of the illusions I form in my overactive little brain.

So anyway, this is turning into a lot of talk about a little thing.  Meditation for 10 minutes a day.  I’ve picked up my faithful old copy of Zend Mind, Beginner’s Mind to be a companion.  Anyone out there meditating?  If you’re looking to get a nice intro into mindfulness, you can also check out Peace is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh.

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I have found myself with internal struggles on this subject. I’ve had phases where I’ve been disgusted with the materialism of the U.S. I felt angry seeing people (including myself) who have so much material wealth and privilege in comparison to the rest of the world, and who take it for granted. I felt this way especially after spending time in countries where people get by on a small fraction of what the average American makes.

On the other hand, there have been times where I was very attached to making good money. I believe it’s healthy to have a desire to be financially responsible, save for retirement and be able to provide for one’s self. However, I have had some other desires in there as well. Like the desire to create an impression of myself as a capable, talented person by being able to make a lot of money. I went through this phase after having gone broke while trying to do service abroad. Or there’s been the desire to make money quickly so I can get to a point where I don’t have to work. I must admit I’ve fallen into the lazy, short-sighted “get rich quick” mentality. There are plenty of people on the web, and elsewhere, who promise their easy-to-follow method will have you making bucketfuls of money before you know it.

Beyond these extremes of aversion and desire there is a healthy balance. We shouldn’t be consumed by greed, but we must be able to sustain ourselves financially. And it’s o.k. to partake of some of life’s pleasures. This is a beautiful world we live in, and we should enjoy our time in it. We can even be deeply spiritual while earning a nice income, so long as our intentions are good and we are striving to live according to spiritual principles.

I sometimes have a hard time figuring out where exactly the balance lies in my life with service and making money. I have a limited amount of time and energy and I want to do service and make a positive difference in the world while also being financially responsible. I don’t think there’s a magic formula, especially when the dynamics of life are always changing. There are a few questions that I try to keep in mind:

• How can I best leverage my time and material resources to make a real, positive difference in the world?
• What am I doing to be financially responsible?
• How much money do my wife and I (and possibly a future family) need?
• Given all these inputs, what is the best way to manage my life?

I thought I would end with a couple of Bahá’í quotes:

Hold ye fast unto the cord of material means, placing your whole trust in God, the Provider of all means. When anyone occupieth himself in a craft or trade, such occupation itself is regarded in the estimation of God as an act of worship.

~ Bahá’u'lláh, Tablets of Bahá’u'lláh, p. 26

Know ye that by “the world” is meant your unawareness of Him Who is your Maker, and your absorption in aught else but Him. The “life to come,” on the other hand, signifieth the things that give you a safe approach to God, the All-Glorious, the Incomparable. Whatsoever deterreth you, in this Day, from loving God is nothing but the world. Flee it, that ye may be numbered with the blest. Should a man wish to adorn himself with the ornaments of the earth, to wear its apparels, or partake of the benefits it can bestow, no harm can befall him, if he alloweth nothing whatever to intervene between him and God, for God hath ordained every good thing, whether created in the heavens or in the earth, for such of His servants as truly believe in Him. Eat ye, O people, of the good things which God hath allowed you, and deprive not yourselves from His wondrous bounties.

~ Bahá’u'lláh, Gleanings from the Writings of Bahá’u'lláh, p. 275

Let your vision be world-embracing, rather than confined to your own self.

~ Bahá’u'lláh, Gleanings from the Writings of Bahá’u'lláh, p. 94

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We grasp at phantoms
in the cold night air,
believing ourselves to be right,
to be justified,
when we are but lost children.

A brilliant ray of truth
shines in our midst,
too close for us to see.

We crawl through the wreckage
of a crumbling city,
desperately seeking a drink of water
while a shoreless ocean surges
through our hearts.

If we could only see
the wondrous light that we are
this broken world
would soon be whole.

I wrote this today at a coffee shop here in New Delhi. I was reading about how so many of the world’s problems come about because we fail to truly investigate reality. If we could clearly see the truth, we would live in unity because truth is one and indivisible. Abdu’l-Baha said it better than I could:

Reality or truth is one, yet there are many religious beliefs, denominations, creeds and differing opinions in the world today. Why should these differences exist? Because they do not investigate and examine the fundamental unity, which is one and unchangeable. If they seek reality itself, they will agree and be united; for reality is indivisible and not multiple. It is evident, therefore, that there is nothing of greater importance to mankind than the investigation of truth.

~Abdu’l-Baha, The Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 62-63

In addition to coming together with a unified understanding of reality, we would also recognize the inherent light and nobility in ourselves. Once we are clearly able to see that within ourselves, it would only be logical to see that the same light exists within everyone else. There is a passage I particularly like from The Seven Valleys where Bahá’u'llá notes how the light of God is hidden within our hearts:

… the splendor of that light is in the hearts, yet it is hidden under the veilings of sense and the conditions of this earth, even as a candle within a lantern of iron, and only when the lantern is removed doth the light of the candle shine out.

In like manner, when thou strippest the wrappings of illusion from off thine heart, the lights of oneness will be made manifest.

~ Bahá’u'lláh, The Seven Valleys, p. 23

Of course, I can’t claim to have reached that state where I can always see that light and fully understand reality. That’s a lifelong endeavor. However, it is something that I aspire to.

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One of the great things about being in India is access to yoga.  I haven’t taken as much advantage of it as I perhaps should have, but I have had some great classes here and there and I do practice it every day now.  I like that yoga addresses physical and spiritual wellbeing.  For me, it’s been tremendously helpful in calming my mind, which tends to run endlessly and has a hard time sitting still.  

I’ve always felt that meditation is an important part of my spiritual practice, but it’s also been tremendously difficult for me to sit and have a real, focused meditation.  I went to a 10 day Vipassana retreat years ago, and after that I could sit for an hour at a time.  Since then, however, my ability to stay focused has declined drastically.

When I practice yoga in the evening, I do some physical/stretching exercises and end with some pranayam (breathing exercises) before I start my evening prayers and reflection.  The yoga poses and stretching, followed by the breathing exercises, helps my mind be much more calm and focused.  Hopefully I’ll get some more mindfulness meditation into the mix, little by little.

Well, there’s a little recap on what I’ve been working on lately.  My wife Sapana just mentioned to me that her shoulders hurt from our yoga class this morning, so it’s been a good day.

I thought I’d end with a quote from the Bahá’í Writings that I like to reflect on sometimes, one that encourages me to meditate:

 O SON OF THE SUPREME!
To the eternal I call thee, yet thou dost seek that which perisheth. What hath made thee turn away from Our desire and seek thine own?
~Bahá’u'lláh, The Arabic Hidden Words 

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Music plays an important role in our world. This divine art form can be so much more than a mere form of entertainment. It can uplift your soul and bring you to a higher state of being. Being a musician myself, I appreciate the gift of music. It has been an important part of my life. Here’s a quote I like:

The art of music is divine and effective. It is the food of the soul and spirit. Through the power and charm of music the spirit of man is uplifted.

- Abdu’l-Baha

I like how this quote describes music as “the food of the soul and spirit”. There have been times in my life when I have been very immersed in music, playing for hours a day. After playing and/or singing for a couple of hours, I would feel like my soul was on a different plane. Music is a world of its own, and when you get really focused and deep into it, the feeling is amazing.

I have also used music for chanting prayers or sacred Writings. If you are into prayer and meditation, I recommend trying it out - you can just pick a verse and come up with a simple melody to chant. The harmony and repetition have a profound effect, and it can be a deep meditative experience.

Although music is a wonderful, profound art form, we should consider both the positive and negative effects of the music we are listening to. Here’s another quote I like:

We, verily, have made music as a ladder for your souls, a means whereby they may be lifted up unto the realm on high; make it not, therefore, as wings to self and passion.

- Bahá’u'lláh

Going with the ladder analogy, we could consider that a ladder can go both up and down. Music can uplift and inspire, but it can also increase anger and depression, promote sexism and materialism, or be used as a harmful propaganda tool. Music can be used in advertising to try to manipulate you to buy something you don’t need. It can influence young children to think that violence and irresponsible sex are cool. We can look around and see many negative uses of music in our society. It’s sad to see this
happening. I have seen the phrase “prostitution of the arts”, and I think that’s what’s happening around us in many ways.

I have come to the conclusion that it’s important for me to be mindful of what I listen to. I still can’t say that I’m perfect in this arena - I’ve given up a lot of music that I used to like, but even now probably not all of the music I listen to is 100% wholesome. However, I have found that as I become more spiritually centered, a lot of the more negative music that I used to enjoy is not longer appealing to me.

If anyone is out there reading this, please share your thoughts on the subject. What does music mean to you? What do you think about the possible positive/negative effects of music?

Once again, if you’re interested, you can find some of my music here.

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